Fading

Lately I realize that memories began to fade away. Hong Kong seems so long ago. I dont remember its scent anymore. I stare at the pictures and thats all I have. Nowadays I walk along the manhattan blocks, take the MTA, then along the corridors of my school and I was surprised that I seem to fit right in. Its as if I never left. Everything stayed the same. The same fucking redundency of life. At the same time, I feel so hollow. I walk with a shell on and theres nothing inside. I talk with my friends and its not the same anymore. They dont seem to get me, and I dont get them. Suddenly, life is once again closing in on me and I can't breathe. I feel so lonely and I dont remember anything. How do I grasp on to memories? Hong Kong was the best 4 months of my life, but I cant seem to hold on to it. Why? Why does everything have to pass? Why do I have to face so many challenges in my life? Why am I living it so hard? Why am I doing this? What the fuck am I living for?