Let Go

There are many things in life that we have to let go for the best of the situation. Its hard because we dont know how to deal with all the remaining imprints that they have left on us. I have snapshots in my head of his eyes, smile, and touch. But whats done is done. I have never regretted a moment of it, but only sad that its probably the last time that our paths will ever cross again. Its better this way i guess, to know that he will be fine on his road and me on mine. Its the best ending that I can ever get.

"I remember when
you came with me that night
you said forever
that you will never let me go
here I am again
with nothing left inside
I dont wanna
But I gotta
let u go"

~Ashley Parker Angel

Somebody said goodbye

I found these lyrics in Enya's song "somebody said goodbye". In one of her lines she asks why we never want to say goodbye. Reminds me of how as I leave each stage of life feeling excited at first and as time passes by only to wake up one day to realize that people have slowly drifted away from me. When did I stop acknowledging them along the way? I vow never to say another good bye again and send an email to Enya one day telling her that there is always a reason why.


Is there a reason?
Why your broken heart begins to cry
Is there a reason?
You were lost and alone though you dont know why
Give me a reason
Why you never want to say goodbye
If theres a reason
I dont know why

Cry

Read my ex-roomie's entries and found myself choking with tears. Three months I have left but at the same time, I can still feel what it was like being in HK. The first scent that I get coming back to my room, hearing my roomie's "Queenie!", Kelly peering through the bathroom door, Ian calling for dinner, Matt's amazing back rub, Lee's breath on my cheeks, King's Arms fantastic steak, heading to Kowloon Tong for the MTR, going to Mong Kok for the 15th millionth time for cheap shopping, heading to Harbor City because we ran out of places to eat, going to Lok Fu for vendor food, to Kowloon City for Thai food and yummy dessert, Kaycee's laugh, Mariel making fun of me, Rainer's boyish grin, Alex weird imitation of me, Jacq being my favorite enemy, Eliza's "Deem ah??", being in what I thought was love, being out of it, holding someone and being held back, my first real kiss, my last real kiss, my last feeling of my heart beating so fast that I couldnt breathe.....

I thought I got over it, apparently not. Its been in my unconscious level for so long and now I want to cry.